All I know is these people up here are deliberately sat up there to look down on you because they brought you here. If you remember, your first year they drove you here and they helped set up what is called a room and they immediately should have been given a degree in engineering, you too with a C average. This people are looking down and they’re afraid because they know you and they’re wondering what you’re going to do because you haven’t said a darn thing resembling what any of these speakers have said that you can do. “What are you going to do?” said the mother and the father to the whining graduate, who had to finally graduate, scared to death, not knowing what to do.
Well, I’m going to help you. You want to make a change in the world said the speakers. I’m going to help you change the world just by
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telling you, pay off your student loan. Even if you don’t have a
job, pay it off. Why? Because when you finally get a job you’re going to
be one of us. You’re going to be one of you mother one of your father,
your uncle, your aunt, or anybody else you borrowed money from!Welcome to the world of taxpayers. You don’t like that do you? Talk about responsibility. Welcome to the world, federal, state, city, and your street. So these people looking down upon you they have to take you home. They’ve come to help you pack. What the hell have you been doing for six years? You’re out of here now; we have proof because you’re sitting there. That’s why we have graduation, so they can find you.
There are many mothers who say the same thing at every graduation. “I wish I could go down there and get that diploma with him or her.” You see, it’s a lot of hard work looking after you. The times when you weren’t honest with them in those six or seven years, the times when you got a credit card you knew you had no business with, times when you quoted friends of yours, people who knew the same amount about anything as you, lost people, it’s time to hug these people. Not just to hug because you have on your cap and gown. It’s time to hug them because you belong in the same club. Many of you will become parents and God has a way of paying you back.
On behalf of all of us, we smile in good humor and yes, we do love you but we’re not your friend we’re your parents. We’re not your friend; we will be there no matter what you become. We’re your parents and we want real kisses, we want real hugs. It’s over! We want you to come to us and damn near knock us down. Realize who we are. No fair trying to pretend that this diploma is her Mother’s Day gift, it’s not working. The father doesn’t care; his presents have always been rotten anyway.
